PHD, Master and Work

Bismillah...

a bit confius and stress this week...
to many things to decide in life..
i am afraid i make a wrong decision...really scared!!

I've got an offer to be a PHD student in UPM..
they have grant and i have no worries about money and fees..
however, i afraid if i can't stand to finish those phd...
like i don't feel want to study for the moment...huhu
my boss said..
if i don't want to further my studies for PHD,
the Master is ok...
what?!!
she is really really really want me to further study under her supervision..
she said, the money is already there, but no master student...
so...
what should i do and act?

in the same time,
i got a call from sime darby for an interview : management trainee..
well, good opportunity for me...
somehow, i am in dilemma about continue my study or work...

if i go to master offer, i will get allowance RM1800 and master...in 2 years
if i go to phd offer, i will get RM2500 as allowance and phd, plus stress...in 4 years
if i go to sime darby, i will get RM1500 as allowance and possibility work with them...in 6 months...

so, what is the best for me??
continue? or
work?

really afraid if i choose a wrong choices...
pray for the best...as Allah planned for me...
InsyaAllah...there is always a way out...

1st Salary in the house

Bismillah...

Today,
feel a bit happy and great...
why, when i open cimb clicks and i can see my salary in there...haha
so, of course i a happy!!!

yet,
my Boss wanna bring me to see a car this afternoon..
simple and cheap car la of course...
and since she now become a big boss (KETUA JABATAN)
who knows if she want to give me a bonus...HOPE SO..or dream more..haha

cool and awesome car!!!!

plus,
i just key in mark of student today...
oh my..i can't believe i do that..
since i am a student just about 4 months ago...

more,
i got a call from sime darby...
yet i don't know if i ok with it or not..huhu
they said they wanna send an email,
but there no email yet...
can i be one of sime darby team?
insyaAllah..
i don't want to give a big hope..
but i do want to dream of a big life and money..haha

alright...thats all for today...

A Princess Wedding/Engagement Card

Bismillah...

Today i have thing to be done...
but then, after my 80% finish journal editing,
suddenly BLACKOUT..

and the whole thing gone...
crystal clear since my PC setting,
when you turn off the PC, whole things will be gone~~~
and my work...GONE...

then, don't have any mood left...ops~~

rest time,
i go to LHDN to get a date stamp...
then shopping!!!
not really shopping..more to window shopping...

after lunch hour..
i wait my boss calling me..
but not yet calling..and now is 4:33 pm already...huhu
so, i try to rest up my mind with creating a card..

well, not for me...
but who knows..that day will come..InsyaAllah

cool?no..yes??

Fed Up

Bismillah...

for the third week...
i fed up with all birokrasi~~~
hey, it just a simple job and it takes me wait until one month to be done?
yet not even done!!

well, i just need a sign and sent a agreement to office....2 weeks to get sign?
find...BIG BOSS BUSY!
but then, the sign is just a fake sign with rubber?
and it takes 2 weeks???what??
fine...be positive!

then i need to put a SETEM HASIL on the agreement...
with positive thingking, i go to PEJABAT PENDAFTAR
but then they said..
"u need to go to LHDN to "matikan setem"..
what the......
hey, i buy that setem one month ago...
and now, u said that i need to MATIKAN SETEM,
which takes me travel more than ONR HOUR (at kajang) and
just to take a stupid rubber cop date (which take a second to settle)?

i am mad with all this!!!

positive??arghhh...pleaseee la...

POSITIVE...
ok...lets settle that tomorrow..FULL STOP!!!

A Beautiful Moments

Bismillah...

Today, again..
i need to be a examiner guard...huhu
a moment i think, just pass few month, i am a student..
and now, i am in front of them..
imagine that...
thats was an awkward moment actually...

what a beautiful life to be a student, right?
have a lots of friend...
free life, free time, free action...

now, every single thing, i need to think..
money, time, holiday...married
burden~~

know what...
if you feel burden, just listen to a beautiful song and remember the beautiful moment!!
and you will like princess~~~

eh...I AM PRINCESS!!lalala~~

UPM Konvokesyen - 36 :Graduate!

Bismillah..

Finally, i'm graduated!

with 1st class degree..
not so proud since i'm jobless...
wait, i am a contract worker as research assistant...
BUT...
research not yet start..boring!!

thanks to:

My mom and dad...

miss my dad so much...

really want him to be here in my graduation day...

see him smile, with my result..

and mom..thanks for every single things you done for me!

thanks to:
all my sister and brother for the support...

thanks to:

My coursemate, my friend..

its rain but you guys still be there for me..

touching~~~

thanks to:
my lecturer especially Dr. Nitty (My PA)- the grey-red robe

and all the lecturer..
Prof. Zainal Abidin, Dr. Abdullahi Farah, Dr. Norlila, Dr.Norsida, Dr.Amin, Dr. Juwaidah,
Dr.Eddie, Prof. Azizah, Dr. Idham, En.Faizal, En.Wan, En.Maafor, En.Hisham, Prof Daud Silong,
Madam Sharifah, and others UPM staff...

Special thanks to:

Teh Arfah - for support me all the time...
Mastura Norlaili - for be the main girlfriend in life..
Aisah, Nadia - for make a happy moment in my life
Meha, CT, Sue, Mimi - for makes my life full of unforgettable moment..
Akmal - since we always in one group, you help me a lot to get a great result..hehe
Mior,Amad,Sobah- thanks coz be a good teammates along the year in UPM..

and thanks to all...
believe me...
one moment, if i think back..
i won't be here if not because of you guys that appear along the way in my life...
thankz!!!!

what an Incident - Trauma

Bismillah

In the name of Allah, the most gracious and most merciful..

today, i feel much better than 2 days ago..
why?
because i had an accident...at roundabout...
i always afraid with roundabout, and now i am the one of the...
what shout i said? victim or the defender?

the stories is like this...
i was going to Damansara urgently..
at roundabout, i want to go to 12 o'clock...
suddenly a motorcycle come speedly from 9 o'clock..
i couldn't brake, and hit him at the back of his motorcycle..
yes..he fell down and his shoulder maybe "misplace"...
my friend and i call the ambulance directly, and the ambulance come,
take the boy (form5 student) and just like that..happen in 10 minutes..
i dont know the boys name...or else about him..

according to the guard and doctor..
the boy is actually the one who guilty...
but, my self feel bad too...

my friend ask for her mother phone number,
but the number she gave to us is not in services?
what that suppose to mean??

i didn't ask for claim or what...
just worried about him actually...
until now, no more news about him...

i am going to do a police report today..
and hope the boy is absolutely find and can take the SPM exam this november..

i actually in trauma...afraid...worried...

i couldn't drive in peace as i do before..

always trauma when see motorcycle around my car while i driving..

please to all rider...
i one of the motorcycle rider too,
ride carefully...for your own sake..
you are 360 degree in danger all the time while riding...so please...

my stories maybe seems simple,but remember..

ITS STILL ACCIDENT!!

Matilah Kau (You Go to Die)-Once

Bismillah..

today, i really wanna scream...
arghh!!

hey, wait...why??
Nothing..I just about to know something that i unsatisfied..
what?
when ever i think about this problem, now become a true stories..before this, i just expected..
but now, the truth is reveal...and hate it!!!


if you read this..what i wanna say to you is:
when i put a trust on you and you cheat,
not one, but more than twice!!
you no longer my best friend, and no longer a friend..
and maybe not even close to a person that i want to meet in my life again..
EVERRR

i just wanna say n sing this song with smile to someone that i once believe in mylife..CRUEL-OF-ME

ever heard Once song?title...

YOU-GO-TO-DIE

Mawah merah yang ku cium

Ternyata menusuk dan beracun

Wanginya menyenangkan hatiku

Membuatku tak karuan

Sehari tak bertemu dengannya

Serasa hampa dalam hatiku

Ku mabuk cinta yang tak terbaca

Oleh naluriku

Dia sama sekali tak cintai diriku

Dia hanya memanfaatkan diriku

Reff:

Matilah kau di dalam hatiku

YOU GO TO DIE IN MY HEART

Bawa pergi saja dirimu

BRING YOURSELF 

Sampai ke dasar lautan

TO THE DEEP-inside THE SEA

Matilah kau bersama cintaku

Banyak berharaplah dirimu

Semoga dapat bahagia

Berharaplah

Ku berlutut di bawah kakinya

Ku berikan hatiku untuknya

Ku telan semua luka-luka

Ku tak punya perisai lagi

Sehari tak bertemu dengannya

Serasa hampa dalam hatiku

Ku mabuk cinta yang tak terbaca

Oleh naluriku

fully satisfied!

Government staff-Malaysia

Bismillah...

well, you guys ever come to Malaysia?
if yes, ever deal with one of them (Government Staff)?
what do you think?
do they deserve a month and a half bonus this year???

my opinion is..THEY DON'T DESERVE our money!!

why??
on monday this week..
i go to one of the department here, just to get a sign..
yet, the person in charge is MC..well, nobody else wanna help though..
i just want a sign..thats all..its ok..i leave a notice there say i will come tomorrow..
then i come the day after...
SHE saids.."i already post to the faculty"..well, kind of weirdo because i'm not faculty staff...
but its ok..i come everyday to faculty to make sure my form are there..
yet now is friday..and my form wasn't at the faculty yet..how come???

then i go back to the department and ask detail about where my form goes?
know what?
SHE saids "oh, your form not yet sign and my boss not in the office..come next week"
and i said "THANKS" but heart said..."THATs IS SO STUPID AND YOU SHOULD RESIGN"

SHE and government staff like her really don't deserve that bonus...

the truth is like this!!

PRIVATE STAFF:

GOVERNMENT STAFF:

got the picture??explain plezzz....

normally private company always in their office even in lunch hour to serve customer..yet they work really hard...i know because i once work with TESCO sdn bhd...

but...
government always go out and eat 3 times a day (between 9am-5pm)...
break morning should be 10:30am...at 10am you won't find any person in the office..
lunch:1pm..at 12 you won't get serve anymore..they rest already...until 3pm even thought they should be in the office at 2pm....
at evening 4:30pm...they already packs their stuff and get home..THE END!!!

moral of the story...

i hate when we as MALAYSIAN need to pay money to THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE...

MBLAQ-ITS WAR:idea,novel and crying

Bismillah...

Know what, i try to write a novel today...just try...
who knows someone will publish my novel...
about what?hurm~~
don't know...just write whatever i know..

where i got that idea??crazy huh??
well, i listen to a song by MBLAQ-ITS WAR...
i don't get any idea what they sing but,
what i know the video music for that song is really touch my heart..
i even cry everytime i hear to the song and remember that music video...
yeah...i am crying!!lalala
even Cinderella cry when someone broke her heart so..

the most climax moments today is:
when i really desperately want to eat this.....

STRAWBERRY PIE

and THIS....

STRAWBERRY DIP WITH CHOCLATE

and THIS....

PAVLOVA BERRY'S

Oh my Allah...

i know i can't eat those coz it make me bigger and sick...but syukur Alhamdulillah cause let me imagine those beautiful food and dessert....nyummmy..hehe

before that...

know what??Pakcik at Pusat Jualan UPM treat us with kedondong and kuah rojak today...

not bad actually...Allah knows the best for us...

steal, robber, thief...

Bismillah...

today...pending jobs seems to be settle slowly...alhamdulillah..
but birokrasi is very very make things much slow~~derrr

actually, my friend almost lost her motorcycle..
someone seems wanna steal it..but thanks Allah coz, maybe the lock seem hard to be broke,
then the thief just giving up..guess so~~
but then the lock is already broken and my friend can't unlock the lock..get me?hehe

all mechanics don't want to help us..what a selfish..
we suddenly ask help from UPM guard and they are hero!!

because of this, i just have a breakfast and luch with THIS...

on diet???
yeah NO...i just dont have mood to eat...ahaks!
no la..its just, to many things need to be settle and travel..

I WANT A CAR!!please~~~~~

desperate already...lalala~~~~

dream not yet come true

Bismillah...

Well today, i've been through a lot of things...tired?
a bit...
and suddenly i remember to this~~~

i want this!!
so need to work very hard..lalala~~

yeah..its just a GEN 2 and no longer sales in the market...
but do i care..as long as i can get this...my favorite...

dream, struggle and get it..ops~~remember, as Allah will..insyaAllah
believe and trust...
if the things is really for you, you may get it...its just about time~~

need a PUMPKIN!!!

BISMILLAH

i'm looking for a car..
what kind?hurm~~
any car i guess...just for make my life easy..
a bit easy...

i hope i can get the Cinderella car...

 i hope..lalala~~~

well, i dream of GEN 2 in my head..my dream sport car...
pray more, gain more..i believe that..

today i need to replace a lecturer..nervous!!
for the second time in class teaching someone at my age...
freakin out~~

well, cinderella not that nervous when get into the castle..
this is just a small class...what much horror can it goes??haha

this imagination should be ok...its exist right??yes!!