2021 New Chapter

 Bismillah..

A new year..

A new chapter...

A new member is about to come...

We never thought it could be this early... but we for sure very happy!!

Alhamdulillah...syukur ke hadrat Ilahi, Tuhan yang Maha Mengetahui apa yang terbaik untuk kami.

Alhamdulillah..

Pray that everything will be just fine...

Pray for best moment that will give us joy and happiness especially for Thariq. He for sure can't wait for his new friend. InshaAllah...

A gift...after a long year of 2020.

2021...would be brighter! InshaAllah..Aminn

p/s: I still feel very nervous and can't believe for what is going on now...feel so much bless!

Are we ok?

 Bismillah..

Hey you,

its been like thousand years since the last time we talked

are you ok?

or

are we ok?

no matter what, 

I'll be fine

just miss the good old days

2020 is cruel to everyone,

but hopefully not to u

stay strong, stay happy, keep smiles

the moon, the memories, the talks, the everything

help in million ways

to make us stay alive with full heart

whenever we feel missing and down

hey u!

thank you

p/s: sometimes I put myself in a dream, just to assure I still have...........

New Journey

Bismillah...

Alhamdulillah for everything, Allah...
YOU have grant me anything and everything..

every prayer,
every happiness...

Nothing is too fast,
and nothing is too late...

YOU just know what is the best for me, for him...and for us...

Now,
The new soul is about to come to our life...
to make us better...
to make better of our journey...
that for sure full with all emotion that most of us can name it...

Pray that Allah make ease with new journey
Pray that this happiness will be spread to others as well...
and make others dream come true...

Thank you Allah...
Thank you All...

P/S: Semoga Allah swt mudahkan segalanya...

MOMENTO Life Changer

Bismillah...

About to change my life path...

Too many reason,
Too many issue..

No motivation,
No passion...

Arghhh...
Why?

This should be path that I love...path that I admire the most...

Pray Allah swt to help me with this one..

For the time being...
I just wanna focus on one thing...
ONE BIG THING to happen in my life...in our life...
we still wait until that the time come...
come and bring joy to our life...

when he's coming...
life path absolutely gonna change...and
we already prepared..

p/s: Path/Star of Truth....

Anugerah Teristimewa

Bismillah...

Jika hari ini aku mampu berteriak,
Melompat-lompat,
Menangis dan kemudian tersenyum...

Pasti sudah aku lakukan...

Tapi aku harus memilih untuk
berdiam diri,
seperti hari-hari yang lain...

Kerana aku perlu melindungi...

Satu hati, satu nyawa,
Satu anugerah...

Anugerah yang teristimewa...


p/s: Genap umurku 30 tahun & Allah swt berikan aku hadiah & rahmah ini...
Alhamdulillah...

Dreams

Bismillah...

Bad dream happen...even bad reality...

maybe...just maybe...

I just can't move on...

its been years and years pass already...but the dream stay and disturb...

It is just a dream..yet disturbing...

Mungkin jika aku bisa redha, semuanya akan tenang...

atau satu saat nanti, semuanya bisa hilang...termasuk aku



p/s: i prefer dream that reality..

Bertaburan

Bismillah...

Pagi sunyi, sepi...

Hilang teman

y bisa berbicara sama sama,
y bisa bercanda sama sama,
y bisa sedih sama sama
y bisa ngobrol jauh d luar kenyataan hidup
Lepasi sakit hati manusia egois

saat detik waktu

juga mengerti pemergian itu

detiknya berat, sukar berputar

bisa lewat semuanya…

biar sesepi mana hidup,

biar segelap mana perjalanan,

senyum lah..

kerna hari ini,
Cuma ada jiwa, kenangan dan pengharapan

Semoga Allah swt permudahkan urusan sekalian hambaNya y bertaburan mencari rezeki halal lg berkat...

p/s: klu dulu aq hilang satu, kini aq hilang dua...dan pasti akan hilang lagi...

A ten years story

Bismillah..

Pertama kali

Dalam aku masih dibayangi kejauhan

Ternyata aku melupai yang di depan mata

Pertemuan tidak dirancang

Perbualan kecil tercatat kemas

Bukan kisah besar bersejarah

Bukan juga novel harapan cinta

Cuma sekadar senyuman dan salam perkenalan

Kali kedua

Masih mampu aku bayangkan

Segar dan jelas

Bagaimana hidup

Cuma bertemankan cinta dan harapan

Saat aku cuba untuk fahami

Sikap anak kecil

Merajuk ketawa, marah bahagia

Inginkan perhatian, kasih dan belaian

Malam bukan gelap

Cuma langit penuh bahagia

Hidup khayalan

Bukan puteri impian

Jiwa penuh sempit

Namun masih cinta diberi ruang

Kalah cuma dengan sedikit perhatian

Ketiga kalinya

Berlawan dengan hati dan cinta

Bukan kerana benci

Masih belum bisa aku bahagikan

Antara hak dan kehendak

Antara nyata dan fantasi

Sekali lagi aku dibayangi kejauhan

Dihimpit perasaan kecil

Kecil dan menyiksa

Berpisah jauh

Namun ada yang dekat

Rindu…

Kali Keempat

Risau

Di mana silapnya cintaku

Cinta yang aku jaga

Akhirnya kalah dengan kerisauan

Hilang milik, hancur harapan

Termenung jauh kecewa

Berpatah sakit menangis

Kali kelima

Jauh aku dari pencarian

Bicara dulu tersenyum gembira

Bicara kini manis yang pahit ditelan

Hati sendiri bingung

Bayangan yang dikejar jauh mengejar

Hampir melekat, melekit rimas

Hingga nafas habis dihirup

Namun hati masih belum tenang

Kali keenam

Jika ditanya

Bilakah mandi tidak basah

Makan tidak kenyang

Tidur tidak lena

Jawapan cuma satu

Dulu…

Dizaman ketiga kalinya

Jauh…menjadi sejarah

Sejarah antara hati, cinta dan harapan

Saat kalamnya masih basah

Masih belum dinoktahkan

Kali Ketujuh

Aku pantas mengerti

Ia cuma aku

Kisah ini, kisah hati aku

Tidak perlukan hati yang lain

Kerana yang sedia hancur itu AKU

Bukan kau, bukan dia

Bukan siapa-siapa

Tapi AKU

Tidak perlu sepuluh

Kerana untuk jadi sepuluh

Ia perlukan kita

Hati yang tidak mungkin engkau fahami

Hujan

Kehadiranmu pantas pada waktunya

Seakan bisa mengerti

Deraian hati jatuh kecewa

Matahari

Hadir segar bersama mata tertutup

Separa penuh berwarna warni

Bicara bahagia bisa hilang

Habis sudah harapan

Habis cudah cinta ini

Sejarah hidup yang paling terkesan

Hilang terbang tidak berganti

Kerana hati ini,

Tidak mungkin engkau fahami

Tidak akan pernah kau fahami

Life can be better

Bismillah...

Life gets hard and harder
The more you think, the harder it get

Leave, just go

If it can be better, why bother
If it will be better, why depress

Leave, just go

When the time is come
Everything will be healed

Leave, just go

Don't bother
The answer is certain

Leave, just go

Accept every fate
Have faith

Me, don't bother anymore,
Not anymore...

Cause life can be better

April

Bismillah..

Its been more than 4 years..
and its still hurt..

Sakit yang ku rasakan
Mengaburi jiwa ini
Dendam yang kau berikan
Cukup disini

Mengapa mudahnya
Kau sakiti
Mengapa mudahnya
Kau lukai

Mengapa kejamnya
Kau menghancurkan
Hati perasaan ini

Putih bersih Cintaku
Kau racuni Hingga mati
Cinta yang kau Berikan
Cukup disini

Mengapa mudahnya
Kau sakiti
Mengapa mudahnya
Kau lukai

Mengapa kejamnya
Kau menghancurkan
Hati perasaan ini

Siksanya hati ini
Kau selalu sakiti

Kau membukakan pintu ini

Namun engkau menusuk ke dalam

Hingga Dasar hati

Kau mencabut nadi Cinta ini

Mengapa mudahnya
Kau sakiti
Mengapa mudahnya
Kau lukai

Mengapa kejamnya
Kau menghancurkan
Hati perasaan ini

Sakit yang ku rasakan

p/s: Aku cuma mahu melupakan..Segalanya

Can't Believe...Its 2017

Bismillah...

I see less blogger..but more of keyboard warrior...
Actually I see less of me, writing using this blog..
Its been like forever, since my last update...

For real,
I just have a lot of work..work without fullstop..
and that makes me less happy...
I don't know...
all of my friend are also super busy...
as i saw on their facebook...

It is just my guess, right?
maybe they don't even busy...

Somehow...on these new year!!!
I am not happy...

Imagine this...
Someone who is extrovert suddenly lost all of her friend,
compare to...
someone who is introvert suddenly lost all of his friend..
would never have the same kind of feeling...

why people don't change themselves,
want to change others?

 Its been a long time I'm not sharing my sad story to this blog...
because I just want to be happy or maybe, pretending to be happy...
so I don't blame the past.

Its 6.16 p.m and I am still at the office...cry!!
crying for something...something that i regret the most...
but i need to continue smile...since smile is the best thing i can do..
or maybe some laugh would help to cure the regret and hurt...

oh yeah...if i don't have laugh...maybe food would help...haha :)

P/s: Bende buruk yang berlaku cuma pada pandangan mata manusia...tp ia tetap yang terindah dan terbaik dari kacamata Allah yang menciptakan alam ini...kerana apa? kerana hikmah di penghujung cerita teramat indah dan bererti buat hambaNya...

A Chapter of Happiness

Bismillah...

aloha...after a while...a long "while" i guess...

nothing much happen...
still the old me...
just hectic jobs makes me a lil bit different...
more workaholic, more lazy, more emotional, and many more...

oh yes...still being lectured by my boss regarding my bad english...
but can't do anything since i didn't have more time to learn...haha...excuses!!

well, my buddy already find his job...
pray he going to do well in his job, while i do well in mine...
oh yes, just about a week...then i'll become farmer...
again i guess...since 2008 i quit touching; so what we called..."mud and manure"
haha...going to be involved in cultivation..and pray everything will run smoothly...
my dream after all...company dream too...

oh ok...work time!!
just wanna share my hari raya...
and hopefully not too late to wished all of you
SELAMAT HARI RAYA MAAF ZAHIR BATIN...
be cool and perfect!!

Pic 1: Selfies with Johor Family

 Pic 2: Selfies from Seremban Family

 Pic 3: Selfies with Schoolmate and Studymates besties

 Pic 4: selfies with JCorp besties

 Pic 5: Selfies with DPPM'ian besties

and Nadia my lovely girl on her big day...Pray she will be a great wife!!!

Three teachers, two accountant and a researcher....

came from one background: Agriculture!!!

hashtag Agriculture Rockksss...

and this picture is outside of the above stories...

just having some fun with Ben Odori Festival...

who knows one fine day, i'll be in real japan...huhu

ok...after a while...
I still can smile...and maybe, my life is not that miserable...
and at the end of the day, you will always find a way to smile...because you have all the memories that can make you smile and keep yourself calm, even when the hard time came...

thanks all...because be one of the chapter that i cheer a lot...
A chapter of happiness...

p/s: can i survive as a farmer?? InshaAllah...

Not The Last Goodbye

Bismillah....

We never spoke to each other until the 6th month I've been here...
and we never knew, we can be so close...
and just after next 6 months, u gone....

please be a good cop...since police is my dream...
but u the one who make it come true...

Pray for your success...and hopefully our dream will come true...
one fine day...partner!

This is not the last goodbye...
this is just a beginning of a friendship...
See u next time Ungku Abdul Qayyum Zarich...
It such a nice memories to work with you...

p/s: Kadang-kadang kita tak tahu siapa yang Allah hadirkan untuk sentuh hati kita...dan siapa yang Allah hilangkan untuk kita menjadi lebih baik, lebih kuat, dan lebih bahagia...

changes

Bismillah...

After some times...
yeah...i am not as young as before...
and not as active as before...
this blog thing...become no longer as a part of my life..

and thats is one of the thing that i miss so much today...

why i used to choose blog?
sometimes...i love to run away from my real life..
blog is somewhere, where i can speak more, laugh more, learn more and..
most important thing "without hurtin' someone directly"

it is totally different with facebook...
where everybody seem toooo damn good...
i cannot complain this and that...
i cannot express my anger, my dissapointed...i mean not directly..
because there were too many person there...

people choose to use FB to express their happinese...
getting married, getting pregnant, getting a buquet of flowers..bla bla...
while they are forgetting that...
in some other place,
they are a person who still looking for a love...
still looking for a baby...
still looking for a happiness in life..

thats why i rarely share my story on the FB wall..

well, yet...
now i rarely share my life either on blog...
why?
i don't have time to do so...
work work work...
i used to tell people "kerja...sampai mati pun tak habis"
but then, what am i doin' right now..
work until i didn't see a sun rise and sun set anymore..
for whom?i am not so sure...
back then, i have a clear vision about my job..
but now, it become sooo blurr...
give promises that you never can make it..
just like what happen in Malaysia...
promises and corruption....
damn i hate those both...

oh ya..
now i choose insta better than blog and FB...
why?
its easy to express youself in the picture without getting people comment on it..
normally in ista, what people do is to double click a.k.a like then leave..
no heart feeling huh..
thats what i thought...and thats what i do...

I am getting bored with the environment in my working place...
with the people, actually...
why there must be a place for people "kaki kipas" and "kaki mengadu"
and this people...alwayyysss get a place for boss trust...

i really looking forward for new job...
why?
because i cannot stand working with arrogant people..
and stupid...like "bodoh-sombong"
tak tahu, buat2 tahu, pastu salah...tetibe orang lain yang die salahkan...

rasa nak "panggg" je...

motive of the story line today?
nothings...just wanna share something that i cannot share in real life...
why?
since i dont have someone that can listen to my-not-worthing-story anymore..

yeah...everybody is growing up now..and busy...and miserable...and tired...

ok then...

p/s: time have really change...until i see no more you in me...

I Know Myself

Bismillah...

stressfull environment for this January 2016...
Supposely, new year bring new motivation, yet, thats not happen within my workplace...

I use to think, working with almost 100% malay would be some kind of easy environment..
no communication berrier, easy to learn new things and others...
somehow, the exactly happen is upside down..
it worst...i mean super worst...

I use to work with Japanese company, british company, US company...
but Malay company is the one who makes me..pfffttt!!
u n e x p l a i n e a b l e

In simple word..

Mengumpat...
Hasad Dengki....
Bangga Diri...
Mengulor...
Bajet Bagus...

it is so negative until i can't figure out, how a good staff should be.
I feel so much disappointed...
and I cannot learn any single thing, and need to keep myself calm and do what is right for the company..

I really love this job, and love this company....
but the people here...argghh...
i thought this kind of people is no longer exist, yet there are many here...Hrmmm...

Thinking about quit and go to somewhere else...
Problem is... Malaysia in the middle of crisis now...
should say that the corruption making this country a loser...
it is hard to find a place that give you what you like...pay you for doing what you passion with...
may be for the time being, I stick on the plan first...inshaAllah...
only few month left...

for me, as far as I know what is right, and what is wrong...
that is more than enough...
the main things is, "JANGAN CEPAT MELATAH"
Know yourself better...

i know that i'm not yet changes because of this enviroment.

I Surely put this on my next resume!!!!

Chaiyok team...Gambate ne!!!

p/s: Next job would be billionaire...thats it!!!

Welcome 2016

Bismillah...

Well..well...well...

people calling it a new year begin, yet I don't really feel anything...
feel the same... with super duper hectic job and duty...

Recall last year BIG things...
1. On April: Get Job here in JB
2. On December: Done my ViVA (not yet on correction...in 60 days)
3. On December: My 1st Wedding Anniversary

Yeahh..nothing much happen...
but I am totally sure, there were a lot-a lot of small things that place something in my heart and mind...

some of them know their promises they've made, some of them just forget about it...
but at the end of the day, what should happen, had happen...

this year promises... for myself...
there are only few things I pray to happen in 2016...
such as to finish my study...I mean really finish...haha

oh yes...on Feb 2016 I am about to move out to new environment...
I mean not staying with in-law...
Its about the time for me and mr.husband to stand on our own feet...
that is a BIG things...at least in this new year...

pray many cool things to happen....
waiting for my putra and putri maybe...
InshaAllah..

oh..today is Teh Arfah Birthday....3rd of January...
Gonna wish and pray her to meet her prince charming...

ok, until next time....

until now

Bismiilah...

The matter keep on playing in my mine...
did i'm the only one,having that feeling?
if yes..no wonder i've been suffered...
if no...no wonder we both suffered...

And then, I woke up from my dream...

Just another bad dream with cold wind, and tears...

Pray everything going well...
for today and day after tomorrow

New Thing

Bismillah...

Alhamdulillah for today and yesterday...

There are a lot of things happen in my life, and I suppose to be thankful for it...

First of all,
 I finish my writing (4 month ago)and waiting for viva...hopefully this year...I dont want to postpone anymore...

Then,
7 Months already...working in Johor Bahru..and now I miss my Negeri Sembilan so much..
once a month to visit my mom, my sisters, my nephews and nieces...it is not enough..seriously..
Job getting tougher..and frankly speaking...I don't really like to work with 99% of one kind of race company...its annoy me everyday...and now I stuck with it...attitude is totally unexpected...totally...

Then,
11 Months already...for me...as a wife...and counting...
yeah..tough job...need to have special skills for that..

see.... what a skill I have, huh?...

I can seat on the ceiling...like a pro ninja...watchhaaaa!!! 

Then,
I feel thankful for my new tab..I never had a tab, and this is new...
a very cheap one since I am now in a way of looking for house...anyone?haha...
The story behind this zenpad is, actually I've been tortured everyday by senior at workplace and thats the reason mhy I spend my money for this!! yeah..for my job..

It is good thing somehow...there are application that suitable for office job..intel inside..
wider screen compare to phone and other...not going to promote more, but u may ask uncle google though...

ok...that all..
I getting stress and stress...
This job suppose to be so much fun, yet because of the people...Its annoying and fedup things..

p/s: Kalau da tak boleh nak buat orang senang...please la jangan buat orang susah...u have done enough!!

BERSAWANG a.k.a WEBSITING

Bismillah...

How funny, when the thing that u loves the most, now become something that u don’t do…

Yeah..I know, my blog has become one of the silent blog…

But actually, there are soooo many blog outhere, once a superb popular blog and now become just like mine…BERSAWANG..

Somehow, somewhat, somewhere…

I’ve become superb bz with my job…and know what? I hate it…

I have no time for myself..I mean to improve myself..

All I did was research…research..and research….

I’m forgetting of what is fun-to-doing-job….‟things that I like to do and people pay for it”…

Arghhh…what a life…

Somehow, there is something that I like to do if I get stress…

It is sooo easy…try it…

1.  Open “Google translet”
2.  Then do set up the setting as below;
3. Then click the volume sign...

It superb fun, and I can listen to the jokes all day round…hahaha

Ok guys…

Just to make sure my blog not WEBSITING…haha a.k.a bersawang…

Until next time…

P/s: Kalau pregnant mungkin akan selalu post…kalau la…

a reflection of the past

Bismillah...

its happen again...

Really need a way out…

And turn back time…

At least 9 years ago…

Where I can truly go for what I want in life..

Not living for other people…

Not pleasure other heart and ignore mine..

I feel sooo fake…

Lie to my own heart…

Crying inside for so many years…

Trying to do things I hate…

And laughing for stupid jokes…

BUT;

at the end of the day..

i know i can still smile for all of it...

its been a while,

the past memories cross by...

and say hi...

just a glance, but its change everything...

that colleague is really similar to someone i know..

my best friend..the act, the jokes...totally the same...

makes me missed the good old days...

sugguh dahsyatnya....haha

p/s: how i always found the same person on all level of my life...