old memories

Bismillah...

when i was a kid...
i never thought a things on how to get and gain money...
all i want is i get what i want...
i once cry badly and don't want going to school because i have no money...
and i once saw other spend and have a lot of pocket money to buy what they want..
good food...good shoe...good school uniform...

and me,
an old shoe...koyak2..
school uniform that doesn't fit my size..
and food...we eat anything...

my mom, my sis and i had days without food to eat...
at that time, what i know that i am hungry and i want to eat...
but what my mom felt?
she must be worried if her son and daughter didn't get anything to eat...
she must be sad...

and now,
i grown up..
my mom alone..
dad past away 1 and half year ago...
and i want to make her happy..and get whatever she want...
i don't want to share anything of my sad stories to her...
i don't want she to cry anymore...

and if anybody make her cry...
there is no way for me to let you go easily..

if only she here with me right now..
i wanna hold her..
and cry on her shoulder...
and hope she gonna said to me "everything gonna be alright"
"soo alright"...

i just somebody that going to say..."don't worry...everything just going to be alright"
but...i believe the only person that can say that to me is myself..

i wanna go home...

once upon a time

Bismillah...

we always love to read a book starts with "once upon a time'

and we always knew that gonna be a princess stories..

but, there is a time when you realize that "once upon a time" 

is actually become one of your life stories..

but not a princess stories..

and u also realize that u r not a princess...

at last, you knew that the ending is not going to be a "happily ever after"

it is hurt..heartbroken...and really sad...

i thought that i never going through this kind of story in my life anymore..

i thought all that heartbroken stories is an old stories and i kept away from my mind..

always asking myself, why i always have this kind of people in my life..

create hope, giving promises and broke everything...

without any reason...

i don't have the ability to turn back time..

all i have now is this present time...

and i want to keep my heart to myself..

so it won't broken anymore...

"siapakah di antara kita, 

dengan rela menjadi pendusta,

siapakah dulu yang membina harapan,

dan siapakah yang memusnahkan impian,

tanpa sebab dan alasan,

kau mainkan perasaan,

bagai taufan tiba-tiba datang dan menghilang"

if only

bismillah

if only i can said to you "please don't go to football field, please be here and listen"
if only i can said "will you come and say stay"

if only people may heard what my heart say..
but they don't..
they just don't...

when people said they know you, they actually don't...
if not..they will not going away...and choose others

Mengahpus jejakmu

Bismillah...

for my reminder...and for his reminder

Terus melangkah melupakanmu
lelah hati perhatikan sikapmu
jalan pikiranmu buatku ragu
tak mungkin ini tetap bertahan

Perlahan mimpi terasa mengganggu
kucoba untuk terus menjauh
perlahan hatiku terbelenggu
kucoba untuk lanjutkan itu

Engkau bukanlah segalaku
bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku
usai sudah semua berlalu
biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

Terus melangkah melupakanmu
lelah hati perhatikan sikapmu
jalan pikiranmu buatku ragu
tak mungkin ini tetap bertahan

Perlahan mimpi terasa mengganggu
kucoba untuk terus menjauh
perlahan hatiku terbelenggu
kucoba untuk lanjutkan itu

Engkau bukanlah segalaku
bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku
usai sudah semua berlalu
biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

Lepaskan segalanya
lepaskan segalanya

Engkau bukanlah segalaku
bukan tempat tuk hentikan langkahku
usai sudah semua berlalu
biar hujan menghapus jejakmu

20 cent, RON95 and petrol station

Bismillah..

the story about increase 20cent for petrol RON95 still in the front page a.k.a hot...
well, of course...from MYR1.90 increase to MYR2.10 PER LITER is very very unforgivable..cewah~
because..it is not reasonable...
yet we are the petroleum producer..we have our own..yet, we still need to pay as what other country- who doesn't have petrol pay...thats not fair..

i just bought my car..not yet pay the first month installment...then this 20cen PER LITER really give my a headache...plus, it will increase all the other stuff in malaysia especially food...arghhh...
and the POOR people gets more POOREST...
syukur Alhamdulllah because Allah still give Malaysian a peace in heart..
poor people just shouting the unfairness in FB, TWITTER and other social media..
because we don't have any other place to go..sigh~~

well, because of this 20cent...
i decided to choose not to support people who does not support Malaysian.
for example PETRONAS...
like nobody know la kan..every year, bonus for Petronas worker is more than 12 month salary...
every person...and the profit they get is sooooo much in year...
but to help Malaysian??NEVER...

just for sharing...
before i bought my car, my friend have share something with me..
i mean, she said..don't buy petronas fuel...then i said "why?"
because...
(let me explain in Bahasa Malaysia)

"Minyak Petronas: diorang masukan minyak yang menggelegak ke dalam lori..jadinye partikel2 habuk n bendasing still ade dalam minyak...jadinya minyak yang kite dapat is minyak yang tak pior..minyak yang xbrape nak elok sgt la..mcm beras with 5% tu...
and

Minyak Shell (she give me that example): diorg bagi kite minyak yang da di sejukan terlebih dahulu..minyak y da disejukan ni bendasing2 nye da mendap...so kite akan dapat minyak pior"

get me?
thats why la, almost all people around said that...shell fuel is much better...and engine will be better...

but then i still use petronas when i bought my car last month..because i believe, its own by malaysian and it will help malaysian..
after this day...no no..i will never use petronas anymore...
coz u cruel and bad...arghhh..stresss!!

i like shell fuel..until today...
i found this petrol station...and after i use the ron95 (i pay MYR20 but get only 9.5 liter: after 20cent)...
my car run smoothly..i just like it..
it has so different feeling...
much better than Petronas...wayyyy better actually..
and it is...

believe me...it is unbeatable...
i think..since i need to pay more 20cent, then i need to get more than just a fuel...
then i thought, why don't give a try to caltex...
since they give fuel with Techron...
haha...extra la sangat~~~

i don't know about you guys...
but for me..i need techron for my car...
even to see caltex is really rare in my place...lalala~~~
caltex please open more franchise...hehe

K bye...

p/s: Petron???no...still boycott..haha..unless there are no more fuel in Malaysia...kikiki