old memories

Bismillah...

when i was a kid...
i never thought a things on how to get and gain money...
all i want is i get what i want...
i once cry badly and don't want going to school because i have no money...
and i once saw other spend and have a lot of pocket money to buy what they want..
good food...good shoe...good school uniform...

and me,
an old shoe...koyak2..
school uniform that doesn't fit my size..
and food...we eat anything...

my mom, my sis and i had days without food to eat...
at that time, what i know that i am hungry and i want to eat...
but what my mom felt?
she must be worried if her son and daughter didn't get anything to eat...
she must be sad...

and now,
i grown up..
my mom alone..
dad past away 1 and half year ago...
and i want to make her happy..and get whatever she want...
i don't want to share anything of my sad stories to her...
i don't want she to cry anymore...

and if anybody make her cry...
there is no way for me to let you go easily..

if only she here with me right now..
i wanna hold her..
and cry on her shoulder...
and hope she gonna said to me "everything gonna be alright"
"soo alright"...

i just somebody that going to say..."don't worry...everything just going to be alright"
but...i believe the only person that can say that to me is myself..

i wanna go home...