the hard part

Bismillah

bila bersahabat,
apa yang paling sukar adalah mengekalkan persahabatan

bila bercinta,
apa yang paling sukar adalah mengekalkan percintaan

bila sudah berkahwin,
apa yang paling sukar adalah mengekalkan perkahwinan

the hard part always come after we have it..
there is a time I felt...
I don't want to have it at the first place...
but after a deep thought,
before i owned it, i want it..badly

Allah give us what we pray for,
and after that,
when we feel hurt, we just get mad and say
"Why Allah give me this and that"

I really hope and pray...
I don't be one of that kind..

because I know,
every single person that come to my life
is a gift...
Alhamdulillah...
now I know a lot of people with a lot of attitude..

Say Something

Bismillah..

Hey you!!...
Yes you...

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'll be the one, if you want me to

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I am feeling so small

It was over my head

I know nothing at all

And I will stumble and fall

I'm still learning to love

Just starting to crawl

Say something, I'm giving up on you

I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

Anywhere I would've followed you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I will swallow my pride

You're the one that I love

And I'm saying goodbye

Say something, I'm giving up on you

And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you

And anywhere I would've followed you (Oh-oh-oh-oh)

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something, I'm giving up on you

Say something...

Thanks for the love and memories 

that still stay in me.. 

and Alhamdulillah for the love that need me to hold..

It might seem like a fate..

but it need faith..for me to hold on..

#GivingUp

Its Time

I don't care if I hurt,
but I won't let you..
I don't care if I don't smile,
but I won't let you..
Only one things I let you do,
left me..
If you happy with someone else,
better than with me,
then I let you..

I see you cry,
I see you hurt,
and I even see you miserable...
Its hurt me when I have to see that
in you..

Now,
You have your own life,
You have your own happiness,
You have your own someone,

so,
I let you,
to left me..

Quey sera..sera..
Whatever will be, wil be..

Lately..When Bad Things Happen

Bismillah...

I having a nightmare..and the problem is..
it is not a dream..gosh..

I just don't understand why this is happening..
but, i absolutely know how it happen..

It suppose to be just fine..
but just because of one small mistake that we make,
the problems getting bigger and bigger..
until he said "tim is just like prof.zainal"
what that suppose to mean..genius?
but of course..
he the one who doesn't know how to deal with it..
ask us to settle everything and back off..
and suddenly say "I call the boy, and I know you not clear with me"
If only I can say...
"Assalamualaikum...we tell everything at the very beginning...
and you say nothing regarding this let us handle...we explain already!!
and know what..
how about if I quit since you accusing me for doing something that i'm not even done it..
and maybe after that you may explain to your boss.."
how that sound?
I am pissed off...I am not that desperate..
after what happen in my project,
he make thing worst..

but yes,
when I a bit cool down..I can't even imagine..
how if i said those..for sure..
me..creating a world war 3...damn!

Right from this moment..
I learn something...
never ever deal with someone that you don't know..
or maybe..someone hypocrite..

# I will not begging for sorry...things past already...

to be clean

Bismillah...

It suppose to be just fine and alright,
but we only can plan,
Allah swt makes things happen as He wish..
and the things that happen is the best..
for sure...

What i feel now is...
"Allah swt deleting every person that not suppose to be in my life"

worst come to worst..i'll quit from this Campus...

if HE said so...

Bismillah..

Recently, I facing with a very difficult situation..
I don't even know how deal with it..
what am I suppose to react to it..
Smile?
Crying?
Hiding myself?
Angry?
I'm totally not sure...

"Mungkin kan terputus di tengah jalan,

Mungkin kan terlerai tanpa ikatan"

Usah ragu dengan takdir...

" Mungkin kita kan berbeza haluan,

Berakhirnya cerita percintaan"

Segalanya ketentuan Tuhan...

Finally I choose to smile and keep move on..
Somehow, that is not as easy as it seem..
Smile to all person I know just to show that I am stronger..
yes, I can do that...
but then crying all night...is something that I can't deal with anymore
It is way too much depression...misery...
being hypocrite to myself, like I don't feel-a-thing is not a right way to do...

but I believe smile, and keep smiling always help me to get better..
even sometimes I really wanna tell others how hurt it is..
how I really wanna scream and let it out loud...so the pain will go away...
but at the same time
I know I really can't depend on others just to stay and hear me..
not to a person with full of lies..
and I decided not to share anymore..
as I don't think the person even care about what happen...
I'm totally sure, I don't need him anymore..ever...promise this to myself..

Everything happen have its own reason...
As He already plan the most bestest plan for me..
and I don't even care anymore...
what I wanna do is to stay away from every single person
that actually hurt me..thats all...
and stay away forever...

now I feel better..

fairytale

Bismillah...

from the beginning..
 i love to dreaming about thing that impossible to achieve..
i put myself on that dream and keep saying that,
the dream is real..and it is wonderful..

so even, sometimes when i get hurt,
i will laughing and continue laughing..
laughing like i won't be hurt again..

i hate people who lie to me..
cause in my fairytale,
everybody is kind..they don't lie

but for real..me,
i lie to myself...
why i lie to myself?
i know the dream never come true..
but why i keep making myself believe on those dream..

shoulder...
i need a shoulder to cry on...
when the things get tougher..
i need a shoulder..
he said he gonna be there, but...
oh..he seem busy with others..

maybe i just need to move on..
and keep make myself believe and smile again..

now i know,
what mean of
"even your shadow leave you when dark"
all i need is myself...
i will go through this all by myself..

the pain..
it is just a process..
i'll be ok soon...